12 September 2005

Grab some cheese - Its time for some whine

Poop. I am feeling really whiney the past few days. Of course my mood nicely coincides with my cycle, so I am trying my best to 'just notice' my feelings and not get too wrapped up in them. It definately helps, but it isn't by any means a pancea.

Last night it really hit me hard. I am lonely. Bored and lonely. Our boxes have not arrived yet so I am going absolutely nuts not being able to sew, or knit, or felt. I miss my toys! waaaahhhhhh!!!! And I miss my friends. I have the greatest friends, and I knew I would miss them, but this really sucks. Looking at pictures of our farewell party made me cry. I miss Tina so much it hurts. And Jennifer, and her lovely kids. I miss Lynn and Anhata and shooting the shit at knitting circle. I miss Dan and Nick and Nezzie.... I miss everyone so damn much. I know, I know...duh, right? I mean I did move out of the country, leaving everyone and everything that I hold dear. Yeah, that is smart.

Last night as I was playing the millionth game of Crazy 8's this week with Anja (now that we are TV free, Anja is honing her card shark skills) I broke down crying. It was all just too much. I go from wishing everyone in the house would disappear so I could get some space (we live in the tiniest of tiny flats) and solitude, but more than anything I wanted to escape to Tina's house. My refuge and source of sanity is an ocean and a continent away.

Now lest you worry, it is important to say that things are not entirely bleak. It really is mostly my lovely PMS kicking in that has me in such a funk. It is like clockwork. Just the week before I was feeling very optimistic and inspired. I still am. I do have a good friend in London so if I really want to, I just have to hop a train. There is a great community through Emerson that we are excited to get more involved with as the year gets into swing. Its just a slow start. We have only been here for less than 8 weeks after all.

But still.... I miss everyone. A whole bunch.

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