26 August 2005

Confidence...Ever elusive

As far back as I can remember, I have always felt like success in its various forms was for other people. I am sure there is some deep rooted psychological reason for this. But honestly, I don't give a shit why it has been this way. I am just tired of it and ready to change. Now. Today.

The question is how. I have been looking for that little on/off switch that must be hidden somewhere in the depths of my mind, but I can't find it. I can try to psych myself up with positive affirmations, meditation, herbal enhancements... but when it comes down to it I am not really buying it. I can see right through the hocus pocus and straight to that evil demon that makes me want to vomit and run crying to the safety of my bedroom.

Any insight from all ye who ooze confidence and have piles of success?

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