25 July 2003

A goddess bitch session

When a goddess gets in a bad mood you had better watch out. With the power to unleash devastion and destruction upon you, be thankful that I am only choosing to spout of a series of poorly phrased rants and the occasional cutting sarcastic comment. Thus ye shall suffer the dribble that follows.

It started the morning we were to leave Chicago and fly back to Portland. For some insane reason, Axel decided that he would wake me up 10 minutes before our wake up call was scheduled to tell me that the wake up call was coming soon. What sadistic trip was he on to wake me up 10 minutes before I absolutely had to get up? I do not transition well from bed to real world. .strike one. Next in line was the f'ing lady at the luggage check in counter for American Airlines. Insisting that our bag, which was withing weight limits in Seattle on the flight there, was now somehow 5 pounds over limit. This being so even though we actually packed a good 5+ pounds less because we were carrying a gift on the way there. Thankfully I occasionaly have a compulsive moment and had packed a duffel bag in case we bought too much and needed more space on the way back. As it was we bought nothing but a few postcards so it was available for us to remove some items from our suitcase (yes, only 1 suitcase for 3 people) to make it lighter. Somehow to them it is better to have 2 bags that weigh less, but take up twice as much room than one bag that weighs very slightly more (we are talking 5 pissy pounds here). To add insult she sent us to wait in another line to check in Anja seperately because their oh so modern e-ticket system could not locate her reservation. nice. .strike 2. It was a bad morning. I don't think I ever fully recovered from this morning. Later that day in Seattle, Anja decided that the best place for her to suffer a total toddler melt down was in the hot sun on the sidewalk in front of the Ferry terminal when I really had to use the bathroom. .strike 3.

Things did get better for awhile, and I thought that I had actually stepped down a few notches on the pissed off scale. I enjoyed a nice evening that my SIL put together for my brother's birthday. A rare occurence took place in that all of the kids in my family were together in one place. This has not happened for a long time, and even longer that we saw each other on a day other than a holiday while not at my parent's house. It was cool. My peace was shattered the next day when we arrived back home to find that the toilet had not been flushed before we left. It was record heat while we were gone, the windows were shut tight, and the bathroom is a tiny room. The smell. Oh dear god, the smell. Welcome back home, mama! I guess the magic house cleaning fairy didn't make it to my home while I was gone. After several days of Executive Level (a'la the complimentary upgrade we received) in a 4 star hotel in downton Chicago, coming home to the same disaster zone of a house that I left with the added bonus of the amonia bomb bathroom sent me into a frenzy. I began to unleash the storm.

It has been eggshells around me since then. My first full day back began with taking Kiah to get a cast put on her arm, which she broke roller blading while we were on vacation. Not too traumatic for either of us luckily. Then it was back home where with candy wrapper orders in record quantities to work on, I have spent most of the past couple days hidden away in the basement in front of a computer screen. My office has no windows, so the best lighting I have is a couple of full spectrum light fixtures. They are truly the best there is to offer in artificial lighting. But they are artificial and there is no real light. A goddess needs her gamma rays ya know? I emerged from the dungeon only to make trips to the post office and costco. At costco I had to wait for half hour while they got 10 cases of chocolate bars. I cleaned out the 25 that they had on the shelf already. I became briefly legendary on service walkie-talkies known as 'the chocolate lady'. They could have at least called me 'the chocolate goddess'.

I did make it up twice yesterday to consume fast food lunch and dinner. Big mistake. Either I am suffering instant bad food karma or I have displeased the virus gods in some way. Whatever the cause, lets just say that I have not been loving my digestive system. Who needs a stomach lining anyway? A weeks worth of dietary restrictions removed and I now vow to never stray again. right.

The house is a worse mess than when we arrived back home. My daughters, as much as I love them and they are fabulous human beings, totally suck at housekeeping. I have taught them well. They have been helping out tremendously playing with Anja and taking her on the many trips to "make pee-pee in the potty". It is just that every toy touched in the past few days, and at least 3 scraps of any meal or snack consumed are spread out all over my living room floor. Axel did clean out the bathroom (since I place all of the blame for the toilet not getting flushed on him) but we have not completely unpacked our toiletry bags so they are spread out over the counter along with several of Anja's bath toys. There is something sticky on the kitchen floor which I suspect has something to do with the empty lemonade pitcher I found on the counter and the hundreds of tiny ants surrounding it. The garden needs to be weeded, the deck needs to be cleaned and swept, my office is a complete disaster zone. It is hot and promised to get hotter. And I feel like something I stepped in.

Maybe I will unleash a storm after all. We could use a little rain.

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