27 June 2003

it will be revealed to me when I am ready

While writing to my dear friend/soul sister michelle I had a revelation. I guess that is what you call it.

As I wrote to michelle....

"I guess that is my motto these days....It will be revealed when I am ready. Rather than forcefully seek out answers and direction I am allowing myself to be open to whatever it is that I am being called to do. Too many times in life I have made plans or set rigid goals only to feel empty in my success or fail to succeed at all. I have gone against my heart in order to satisfy external standards of what it means to be a "responsible and successful member of society." And look what it has done to me! Ugh! No more I say!"

Now don't freak out! This doesn't mean that I am going to live my life in reckless abandon without regard to consequence. It doesn't mean that I am going to wander aimlessly with no direction. It simply means that I am going to let the direction that I am going in be led by intuition and insight rather than doctrine and external judgement. This may seem pretty basic, and in reality it is, but I challenge everyone to look at their own personal life direction and if they feel emptiness or see failure to ask themselves who it is that is leading them - and is that really where they want to go. I did and I found where I was going was not where I need to be.

Exactly how this motto will play itself out in my life I don't know.... that too will be revealed to me when I am ready.

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