ummm.......DUH, isn't that the whole point?

This today from Bohemian Mama

My favorite comment in the news coverage of the Portland protests against President Bush's $2000/plate fundraiser last Thursday came from a woman who was part of the "pro-Bush" support group. When asked what she thought about the fact that the protesters had a far larger crowd than her bunch, she replied, "well, of course there's more anti-Bush people out here today, most of them don't have jobs!"

things that make ya go hmmmmmm......

It reminds me of a quote that one attendee of last weeks Bush chow-down how impressive it was that Bush was able to raise the amount of money he did, which was certainly a sign of goodness to this guy. He praised his ability to "raise that kind of money in this economy" as confirmation that Bush must be a good leader. Or... maybe...call me a radical now, but maybe it is because the people who have that kind of money in this state are able to do so by padding the Bush war chest with campaign contributions. The highest representation at the fund raiser was from Timber Industry Representatives who companines are on the money end of Bush's Fix BY Destruction Forest Plan. Just a thought.

posted by Unknown at 4:41 am | | 0 comment(s)

Strange days

I am in a bit of a funk these past couple days. We got back from our weekend away all of us were more or less tossed back into the thick of it immediately upon our return. Prince Consort had to work a full day starting literally as soon as we drove back into town. The rest of us continued on to home where we were met with the mess that we left behind and the many things that needed attention. I tell myself each time before I go out of town that I am going to get the house really clean so that I don't return to a mess, but it just never seems to work out that way. I guess that the time to start on a blitz of house cleaning is not when you are trying to get things organized and packed for leaving. I have a new goal that this fall and winter I will slowly work my way through each room of the house and purge like crazy. I give up so much vital energy to the clutter that surrounds me. These "things" that none of us really care about just suck so much out of us. Some days I just want to get a big ol' truck and load it up with everything then send it away. I think that is part of why going camping and such is so peaceful. You only have what you need with you and nothing else to take up space in your surroundings or your brain.

Goddess in Training #1 and #2 start back to school in a week. I am really conflicted about this. On one hand I am really looking forward to a bit of calm around the house while they are gone. They do help out with Goddess in Training #3 a great deal when I want to slip in some work or computer time, but overall, despite their outward independence, they are still a huge demand on my energy. In plain earthly terms - they generate an amazing amount of mess around the house, which despite my urging, nagging, preaching and even screaming at times, they just don't seem to be buying the whole idea of cooperative working and living. When it comes down to it they still expect mom to take care of things. I need to work on this. grrrrrrr. On a more psychic level, they are very needy. This is where my conflict comes in. It is so hard to guide them through the myriad of choices they are facing at this time in their lives. I look back at when I was their age and I shudder. Not a pleasant time of life. I want to both let them experience life and learn from it, but at the same time protect them from its pain and horror. I want to teach them how to be strong but remain compassionate. I want to teach them how to take pride in their appearance but not feel the need to fit in a predefined mold of beauty. I want them to be comfortable in social situations, but I don't want to force them into interacting with people they don't want to. It is so hard. And it takes so much time. They spend so much time in school where they are taught only the barest minimum that they have to be in order to pass. Schools here are in such crisis and so much is being sacrificed in the name of budget cuts. What is really being sacrificed is my children's future. I hate to send them to a place where I feel they are getting short changed so terribly. There is also the problem of being the odd ones in the crowd. We are not your typical suburban family by any stretch of the imagination. It is hard for me as a secure and established adult to find my space in this community, it is so very much harder for them as awkward pre-teens. I feel such guilt for placing my kids in this situation. By itself this time of life is full of self doubt and finding your tribe. My poor kids are more or less left to create their own tribe. I just pray that I have given them enough strength and confidence to withstand the pressure and cruelty that faces them. I wish I could keep them protected and happy for all their life.

posted by Unknown at 6:55 pm | | 0 comment(s)

And now to leave the country....

Prince Consort and I are dropping the Goddesses in Training with their aunt and uncle and we are catching a boat to Canada. Victoria, BC to be exact. In celebration of my birthday (upon which I officially am on the downward slope to 40) we are spending the weekend at a bed and breakfast where I will be treated to a nice spa package. We will get to dine in a nice restaraunt and not have to worry about high chairs, sippy cups or temper tantrums. We can wander around town at our own pace without concern of weather or not a diaper needs changing or nap time is approaching. Such Bliss! We even plan on taking in a play. It has been ages since I have even been to a movie, let alone a live theater performance. The sheer thought of it is making me giddy! And thanks to my therapist as I discussed in my post below, I am able to enjoy the gifts and love that will be showered upon me by the wonderful man that I have chosen as my companion in life.

See you when I return - blissed out and ready to blog!

posted by Unknown at 7:25 am | | 0 comment(s)

Street Theater, Sarcasm, and some just plain old fashioned humor.

"You're sexy! You're Cute! Take off your riot suit!" This was definately one of my favortie chants today at the big anti-Bush protest here in Portland. What else do you say to a bunch of hulky guys poised for a battle that wasn't happening? I swear that I saw a couple of them (the one's that you could see their face in the first place) almost crack a smile. Of course that wouldn't be intimidating behavior so they were surpressing it as best they could. "Little Beruit" (as "W" senior called Portland when he thought about visiting) didn't dissappoint today. Protestors showed up in the thousands to demonstrate against Bush and call for his impeachment. (What is worse - screwing and intern or screwing the country? ) Bush it seems has the idea that because there was such a narrow margin of defeat for him in the last election in Oregon that he stands some sort of chance of winning the state in 2004. If todays crowd is any indicator of the mood of the people, he stands a slim chance of succeeding in his efforts. Of course, that didn't stop him from starting his campaign early today by speaking at a $2000 a plate luncheon. After this little get-together is was scheduled to go to Central Oregon and push his "Healthy Forest Initiative." This is his wild idea that by cutting down the trees before they catch on fire is a good way to prevent forest fires. hmmmmm.... I guess that his usual line of thinking that in order to fix something you must destroy it holds true in this case. Go figure.

The demonstration today was, for the most part, peaceful. The crowd, while very vocal and up front with their opinions was not looking for a fight. Of course that left all these hulky guys in full SWAT gear left standing around with nothing to do. They did break up the monotony of their day by declaring Columbia Park closed at 2:30. From reports, people did not disperse quickly enough so out came the pepper spray. I wonder if they got any babies this year? Odds are that when you pepper spray in a park where children play that a kid might get hit. That will teach them to try and play (the nerve of youngsters these days!) while they "prevent" a riot.

Some things that impressed me today was the sheer numbers of signs that people made for the event. Poster board, cardboard, xeorx copies, paper mache'.... you name it and someone used it to get their words out. I carried a nice little number myself that I contructed out of a couple of well colored on pieces of poster board. Apparently someone else liked them too, as Goddess in Training #1 informed me that as she was watching coverage of the events on the local news they zoomed in for a close up of it. She knew it was mine and not some cheap imitation because of my patent "yellow toddler scribble" that Goddess in Training #3 so kindly decorated my poster board before I had a chance to make my sign. My "No Bushit" slogan was apparently tame enough for broadcast. Who would have thunk it? I guess that compared to the giant blow-up penis with full riot head gear that one clever protestor carried, a little clever swear word is no big deal.

All in all it was a good protest. Good momentum to build on for the upcoming campaign season. Hopefully we can continue to get out there and get people motivated to stand up and make sure their vote counts this time around. Heck, we might even end up with a legitimate winner in office if we play our cards right!

posted by Unknown at 7:15 am | | 0 comment(s)

I wonder

What if the hokey-pokey is what it's all about?

posted by Unknown at 4:35 am | | 0 comment(s)

I am so screwed up!

I had my bi-weekly therapy session yesterday. The topic of the hour: Why I was feeling such strong aprehension regarding an upcoming get-away with Prince Consort - completely free of the Goddesses in Training. Surprisingly enough, it had nothing to do with not knowing what to do alone as is the case with many couples when they are wtih out the kiddos after long periods of 'family-time'. No lack of ideas in that department! What it turns out to be is that I don't feel worthy of an honest, no-strings-attached gift. Something in my twisted past has lead me to believe that I A) Am not deserving of acts of kindness and B) That gifts always carry a price. How messed up is that? It has to be something pretty deep because I certainly have received kindness and gifts out of pure love and caring from friends and loved ones over the years. It isn't like I have been on the receiving end of any Trojan Horses that I can recall. But, regardless of its true root, the bottom line is that I have been feeling like I am not worthy of having a relaxing weekend away, and by accepting it I am committing myself to some sort of 'pay-back'. The example that we kept coming back to was corn. Yes, corn. Prince consort was cleaning up Goddess in Training #3 after she finished eating corn the other night. Being the 2 year old that she is, she had smeared butter all over her highchair tray and tossed several kernals on the floor. In cleaning up, PC rinsed the tray with water, put it back on the chair, and put the chair back in its corner. Done. The last time I checked water does absolutely nothing in terms of clearing away greasy,slimey butter off plastic. This being so, the tray remained covered in a nicely rinsed film of butter. eeewww. And the kernals that landed on the floor remained where they landed. Apparently Male Pattern Blindness strikes again and PC did not see them there or recognize the need to remove them. This situtaion irritated me beyond belief. One of those times when helping me out really wasn't helping me very much. But, because of the upcoming trip, I felt that somehow I had no right to complain about the corn. I told myself "pick up the damn corn for cripes sake! You are getting a fabulous weekend away for a birthday gift when there are lots of other women who are lucky to get a card and pizza, you ungrateful wench!" (ala' there are children starving in Africa so eat every bit on your plate) Fortunately for my sanity my anal retentive obsession with the corn on the floor won and I did point it out, but not without tons of guilt and feeling like a real bitch.

Thankfully my therapist was able to slap me into the right frame of mind. I am now looking forward to my wonderful weekend escape sans guilt or reluctance. And I can still bitch about corn as much as I want too!

posted by Unknown at 12:33 am | | 0 comment(s)

Introducing....the new family names....

It has been bugging me lately that I refer to my family by their actuall names and not some clever blog names as so many of my compatriots use. I considered holding a contest and asking for submissions, and while I ultimately decided against that if you have what you feel is a better idea feel free to leave comment with your witty suggestions. In the meantime however, I have opted for the following pseudonyms:

Dylan: Goddess in Training #1

Kiah: Goddess in Training #2

Anja: Goddess in Training #3

Axel: Prince Consort (which by definition of Webster's is: Husband of the reigning queen. Sounds about right)

I have to admit, I am less than thrilled by my choices, so I am completely open to any and all suggestions you might have. In the meantime refer to this to determine who the hell I am talking about.

posted by Unknown at 12:08 am | | 0 comment(s)

Practicing Mindfullness

I have the day "off" today. That is my older girls are out of town and my youngest daughter is out with Axel on an all day bike ride. I am totally off the clock with my mothering duties. So what am I going to do? CHORES! Can you even believe it? It isn't as bad as it sounds. First of all - it is nearly noon and I have not even begun to do anything so it isn't like I am going to spend all day slaving away. Second - the chores that I am going to do consist primarily of setting up and organizing my new official sewing room and doing some work in the garden. I love both of these activities so working on them is really play for me. I do plan on getting some laundry done, but even that these days is somewhat relaxing. I finally got around to setting up the laundry line in the back yard last week so now instead of tossing the clothes into the dryer I get to hang them up outside. It is actually a nice meditation for me and brings me back in touch with the task. It allows me to really be mindfull about what I am doing.

I have been making a true effort to be more mindfull in my daily activities. Focusing on what it is that I am doing at that time, not on what I have done in the past or might do in the future. It is amazing how much peace this is bringing to ordinary things. When I went to my Birthing From Within workshop a few weeks ago the facilitator read a passage to us about being mindfull. It really hit home for me. One of the primary focuses of Birthing From Within is giving birth in awareness. Another is that the pain coping practices used in childbirth are work best when used in daily life and not just dusted off for labor. In keeping with that theme I have been trying to live my life in awareness. I have a long way to go with it, but what small changes I have implemented are having a profound impact on things. Axel commented yesterday that I seemed much happier and cheerful than I usually am. That was reassuring to hear after making a very concerted effort yesterday to live mindfully and aware. What could have been a very melancholy and stressful day was made calm and peaceful.

So off I go now to begin my days work. I am really excited about my sewing room. Up until now my sewing stuff has pretty much taken over the kitchen table and surrounding areas. We have had to take our plates into the living room to eat, which has led to very unaware and unmindfull mealtimes. I am looking forward to sitting down to a meal again with my family. It has been much too long since this has happened.

posted by Unknown at 7:46 pm | | 0 comment(s)

Support Our Troops

Most everyone I know supports our troops. Everyone but Bush that is.

posted by Unknown at 6:48 am | | 0 comment(s)

Wake Up Call

Hello - is anybody there? This is your wake up call . It is time to open your eyes, get off your lazy butts and start paying attention to just how much energy we use and how much we take it for granted. Life "off the grid" is looking mighty appealing about now.

posted by Unknown at 11:33 pm | | 0 comment(s)

Fair and Balanced Day

Friday Auguat 15 - yes that is tomorrow - is the official FAIR AND BALANCED day on the internet. Neal Pollack has put out the call to arms in response to Fox News' lawsuit filed this week against Al Franken.

Personally, I plan to start the day with a fair and balanced breakfast of coffee, cereal, and fresh fruit. After that - who knows what mayhem will ensue. But I know that it will be fair and balanced mayhem.

posted by Unknown at 5:42 pm | | 0 comment(s)

Bush Inaction figure

Thanks to Bohemian Mama and her source Suburban Guerilla for the heads up on this fabulous auction going on at ebay right now.

posted by Unknown at 11:56 pm | | 0 comment(s)

Must See

I have heard a number of reviews for this film and most recently an interview with writer/director Peter Mullen. It is at the top of my must see list.






Having been brought up Catholic and in light of the recent revalations regarding the Catholic Church's cover up of pedophile and molestor priests, this intrigues me to no end. I guess it is okay to act on sexual perversion if you are ordained by God, but not okay to be sexual in any way - even as a victim of rape - if you are a woman outside of wedlock. Something to think about.

posted by Unknown at 9:39 pm | | 0 comment(s)

After-Life

I find this amusing...My DH's offical status in this country is "Legal Resident Alien" therefore we are graced with the occasional correspondence from the new Department of Homeland Securtiy - Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services that replaced the old INS. We received a letter a couple months ago that I came across recently while sorting through a huge stack of papers in the 'deal with it later' pile. The content of the letter was an insignificant form letter that was reviewed upon receipt and tossed into the pile for later filing. What I failed to take note of upon initial scanning of the letter was the signature by whom the letter was written. Jerry Garcia. Hmmmm... it seems that Jerry Garcia is the "Interim Director of the DHS-BCIS" . If this is what happens to old hippies when they die I am scared. I wonder if it is too late to repent my granola crunchy ways and avoid bureaucratic employment as a punishment in my after-life.

On that note: let us remember Jerry

posted by Unknown at 8:59 pm | | 0 comment(s)

I want this for my birthday!

The Dolly Ranchers I will gladly accept either one or both of their cd's. These chicks can wale a good tune. So remember.... August 22 is fast approaching.....

posted by Unknown at 8:36 am | | 0 comment(s)